Uncontrollable Events

Hyrum W. Smith was quoted as saying "What is important is not that there are uncontrollable events in our lives, but how we respond to them"

This has been a favorite quote of mine for years. I have it on my wall at work and look at it quite frequently. I came across this quote just after September 11, 2001. I have an American Flag on the page along with the quote. I am not sure where I came across the quote but it seems to fit for me.

I do believe there are events in our lives that we can control but I also know there are things that happen to us that we can not control. Sometimes we look back on things that we did have control over and wonder why we went left instead of right. We may wonder what would have happened if I would have taken the different road. I think about that sometimes with some of my early choices I had for my career. I also think about that with some of the opportunities that I have had over the last couple of years and the decision I made to turn down the offers.

I do know that there are uncontrollable events that happen in every one's life. Some of those things are terrible and people do not deserve to be treated that way. There are some horrible things that happen to people everyday and I feel for those people. It is not fair, they did nothing to deserve those things. People that get abused, physically, mentally or emotionaly did not ask for that to happen to them. I do like to think as Hyrum Smith said that we have the ability to respond to them in any way we want. We can't control what others say to us or about us but we can control how we react to it. Do we fire back or do we let it go and consider the source? When someone hurts us, do we go out of our way to try and hurt them back? I would hope not.

By no means am I saying we just need to take everything that happens to us and internalize it but I do know for me, that; by taking a minute, hour, day or week to think and respond to events that happen in my life has helped me with my own temper and will most likely prolong my life here on earth.

I firmly believe that we have the ability to take the higher road when events happen to us because of the gift of free agency that we all have. Even though bad things happen to each of us, as we discipline ourselves to respond in ways that may change the event to a positive I believe we can be happier and healthier.

Our own worst critic (the internal voice)

I have been thinking about something for the last 24 hours and thought I would write a little about what I think and feel.

In most cases we are our own worst critics. We know ourselves the best and beat ourselves up more than anyone else. Some would say that we have an internal voice. Mastering that internal voice can be difficult. Sometimes it is easier to say nice things to others than it is to feel nice things about ourselves (internal voice).

For the most part the people I know want to be good people, productive people, good to their families, good people in the communities in which they live, serve others and just basically live a good life.

That can be difficult when you are struggling internally and end up in places that are dark and you get depressed. I have been there and it is not all that fun. I don't think I have been there that often and for that I am grateful, it does not make me any better than anyone else. I have talked to people that struggle almost on a daily basis to stay out of that place, and I admire them each day for their strength to carry on.

It is hard to live up to the expectations you have for yourself, let alone the expectations that others may have for you. Some people think that they are not good enough at anything, that they do not look good physically, that they do not have any talents or skills. People look at others that they know or associate with and compare themselves all the time. I have heard such things as, "I will never be as good as..." or " She is so perfect" or "He has it all". I know I feel this way some times too. We are all human.

I do believe that the internal voice that some of us hear, can be a very positive thing, if we can learn to master it. If we take some of that self talk and turn it around to become better, than what we heard helped us out. When the voice gets us feeling down or discouraged, we have choices. Do we let it or do we try to overcome it? I think the majority of us would say that we try to overcome it. Which leads to the next question, How?

I am pretty sure I do not have the answer but I might make a few suggestions:

1. Find a friend or friends that you can turn to as soon as you feel that internal, negative, voice.
Talking to people can help bring you back. I would add that if you are that friend, you should do your best to lift or raise the person up out of that negative "self talk" by offering positive and uplifting things about them.

2. Listen to uplifting music. Find certain songs that you can listen to when you begin to feel down.

3. Read your scriptures and count your blessings. Great comfort can come from both.

4. If you have one, read your Patriarchal Blessing. Heavenly Father knows us better than we know ourselves and lets us know how special we are to him.

I have done a lot of reading over the last several years and I collect sayings or statements from different authors. As I typed this entry, I thought of a one of them and how it might apply to helping us overcome the negative self talk.

Here it is:

Be gentle with yourself, learn to love yourself, to forgive yourself, for only as we have the right attitude toward ourselves can we have the right attitude toward others.

Wilfred Peterson

Lightheaded and sick to my stomach

I just learned that is how I feel right now. It is 4:07 on a Friday afternoon. I am still sitting at work wishing that I had been able to go leave hours ago.

Not much else to say other than that today.