The Power of Saying No

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I am not very good at it but feel like I am better at it now that I was before.

On Sunday, I gave the 3rd hour lesson and began talking about the plain and simple things of the gospel. That conversation went on for longer than I had anticipated, which was OK with me so I did not get to talk about trying to simplify your personal life by learning to say NO more often.

I have done some study over the last few weeks and found some things that I thought were helpful. I though I would spend a few minutes and post some of my thoughts on what I have learned about saying NO.

Have you ever agreed to do something you really did not have time for, or that you really just did not want to do?

Why Say No?

Saying no can be good for you. Saying no is not a selfish act. When you say no, you will be able to spend quaility time on the things that you have already said yes to. There are countless worthy requests out there just waiting to eat up your free time but at the same time increase your stress. By saying not, you can concentrate on the activities or people that you have already agreed to help.

Saying no can allow you to try new things. Just because you have always helped plan the company softball tournament does not mean that you have to keep doing it forever. If you say no you will free up time to pursue something else (hobbies or interests).

Yes is not always the best answer. If you are overcommitted or under a lot of stress, you have a much better chance of becoming sick, tired or just plain crabby, which in the end does not benefit anyone. Saying yes is easier than saying no but in the end could cause you mental and physical anguish. Clearly, it is easier to say Yes to people, especially whent the people are those we care about. We do this because we don't want to let others down, disappoint them or be accused of not being there. We also do it because saying no has a negative connotation in our society. it sends the message taht somehow we can not do it all, we are cooperative or we are not a strong and willing.

It is important to recognize other people. Let those around you come through. Allow others to do things there way. Even though it may not be the same way you would do it, you may learn something from them. This will allow you to gain valuable personal time but not taking everything on yourself.

Sometimes it is tough to determine which activities deserve your time and attention. Saying No will not be easy if you are used to saying Yes all the time. But learning to say no is am important part of simplyfying your way to a better, less stressful life.

Of course, being there for people when they need us is a good thing. The problem is that many people say Yes at the expense of their personal mental and physical health.

Actions Speak Louder than Words

Your actions (what you do) communicate more clearly than your words (what you say). It is as if they were louder than words. If you want people to believe your words, you should "speak" with your actions.

If you want to teach someone something or you expect them to learn something I believe you must show them how to do what you are asking them.

If you want your child to learn how to treat others the right way, you must first be willing to treat others right yourself. If you want your child to learn to clean a room, I believe you must show them how to clean the room. Children learn more from what we do than what we say.

I have interviewed for a lot of jobs and one of the basic questions that comes up in interviews is "What is your management style?" I always answer this question in the same way. I let the person know that I would never ask anyone to do anything that I am not willing to do myself. I think this fits in very well with the topic of this post. On the other hand I have worked with people that can not even send a fax or put a stamp on a letter.

I have been in a lot of meetings where a lot of talk (words) has taken place and really never any gets done (action). Usually what ends up happening is nothing. On the other hand I have been involved with groups where action is what takes place and in the end very few words have been exchanged but great things have taken place.

Example: "Don't tell me how to do this; show me! Actions speak louder than words."